DIVREI TORAH ON PARSHAS NASO
This Parsha discusses the laws of a woman who strayed (Soteh). If the woman died after drinking the Soteh water, the Torah reminds the husband, who is the one who took her to the Bais Din (court) that, ”V’niko Ho’ish Mei’ovon”, he’s absolved from any blame for her death. Rashi explains that the husband is told, Al Yidag Lomar Chavti B’misoso, don’t feel guilty for her death. Why should he feel guilty, if her death is proof that she did a terrible sin?
Many people confuse their emotions. They may feel guilty, when all they should feel is bad, for what happened. Feeling guilty is misplaced, more intense, more often scarring, and may scare other husbands away from doing what they should.
People “mislabel” other emotions as well. They may be frustrated at a situation because, for example, someone had more responsibilities than they were capable of completing in an allotted time. Some people may use the word angry at the incomplete tasks, intensifying their emotion and, what’s even worse, directing it at someone who doesn’t deserve the blame.
Parents often have to make decisions between two of their children, such as who gets the car on any given day. The car will help one child, and inconvenience the other. It’s easy to feel guilty, and then flip-flop, until they make their final decision. Inconveniencing others doesn’t mean that people are mean. A reality of life is that decisions must be made, and sometimes those decisions will be difficult. Mislabeling emotions can “wear down” people’s inner strengths, and make them ineffective in life. Instead, people should ask themselves, whether their description of what took place is accurate, before allowing any intense, or critical, emotions to show. Accurately labeling one’s emotional reactions will make people calmer, and allow them to continue to live effectively.
Many people confuse their emotions. They may feel guilty, when all they should feel is bad, for what happened. Feeling guilty is misplaced, more intense, more often scarring, and may scare other husbands away from doing what they should.
People “mislabel” other emotions as well. They may be frustrated at a situation because, for example, someone had more responsibilities than they were capable of completing in an allotted time. Some people may use the word angry at the incomplete tasks, intensifying their emotion and, what’s even worse, directing it at someone who doesn’t deserve the blame.
Parents often have to make decisions between two of their children, such as who gets the car on any given day. The car will help one child, and inconvenience the other. It’s easy to feel guilty, and then flip-flop, until they make their final decision. Inconveniencing others doesn’t mean that people are mean. A reality of life is that decisions must be made, and sometimes those decisions will be difficult. Mislabeling emotions can “wear down” people’s inner strengths, and make them ineffective in life. Instead, people should ask themselves, whether their description of what took place is accurate, before allowing any intense, or critical, emotions to show. Accurately labeling one’s emotional reactions will make people calmer, and allow them to continue to live effectively.
The author can be contacted at shmuelgluck@areivim.com
In the Parsha of the Soteh, the married woman, who’s accused of acting improperly with another man, the Torah says: Ki Sista Ishto. Rashi explains the word “Sista” with the following Gemoroh: Ein Odom Choteh Ad Shenichnas Bo Ruach Shtus. A person won’t sin until a state of insanity enters him.
Insane doesn’t mean clinical insanity. It refers to a state of mind in which many people often find themselves. It’s what people’s thought processes do when they veer from pure logic. It’s the thought process that gives more value to the “maybe”, and the irrational leap of faith that gives people the confidence to take risks that they otherwise wouldn’t take. The Ruach Shtus is the key to acting irrationally.
The Soteh had Yichud with a man, thinking she wouldn’t get caught. Once she was
caught, she decided she wouldn’t get caught again. She may have had multiple thoughts about how Hashem would understand what she’s doing or that, in her case, it’s not so bad. She may have also decided that she could do Teshuva later. Although none of those thoughts have any true value to her, at that moment, they made sense.
People constantly draw conclusions that don’t take reality into account. In their “personal reality” they take risks that they shouldn’t, and “decide” things will “work out”. At that moment, those people are, according to the Torah’s definition, insane. They are so desperate for something to be true that they imagine that it is true
Insane doesn’t mean clinical insanity. It refers to a state of mind in which many people often find themselves. It’s what people’s thought processes do when they veer from pure logic. It’s the thought process that gives more value to the “maybe”, and the irrational leap of faith that gives people the confidence to take risks that they otherwise wouldn’t take. The Ruach Shtus is the key to acting irrationally.
The Soteh had Yichud with a man, thinking she wouldn’t get caught. Once she was
caught, she decided she wouldn’t get caught again. She may have had multiple thoughts about how Hashem would understand what she’s doing or that, in her case, it’s not so bad. She may have also decided that she could do Teshuva later. Although none of those thoughts have any true value to her, at that moment, they made sense.
People constantly draw conclusions that don’t take reality into account. In their “personal reality” they take risks that they shouldn’t, and “decide” things will “work out”. At that moment, those people are, according to the Torah’s definition, insane. They are so desperate for something to be true that they imagine that it is true
The author can be contacted at shmuelgluck@areivim.com
If you enjoyed or benefited from these divrei torah please consider making a donation to Areivim
© AREIVIM ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Reprinting these articles for commercial use without the express consent of Areivim is strictly prohibited. To request permission please contact the Areivim office at 845 371 2760 or info@areivim.com.
