DIVREI TORAH ON PARSHAS EIKEV
Many of the difficulties in people’s lives are caused by their misconceptions of what should be considered needs, and what should be considered privileges. Privileges can make people feel good when they receive them, but should not make them feel badly when they are withheld. This Parsha discusses what should be considered needs, and for people to realize that everything else are privileges.
The Posuk says, (10/18) V’oheiv Ger, Loseis Lo Lechem V’simlo. You should love the convert, and give him food and clothing. Food, and clothing, seems to be an exceedingly minimal amount of support. Rashi explains: Dovor Choshuv Shekol Atzmo Shel Yakov Ovinu Al Ze Hispalel, “V’nosan Li Lechem Le’echol U’beged Lilbosh”. Yaakov davened for bread and clothing. What is being given to the convert is something significant, the same things for which Yaakov asked.
I think it’s fair to ask how one can consider that food and clothing, the most basic of needs, are enough, just because Yakov, a Tzadik, was satisfied with them. Would it be fair to say that the average person should be satisfied with 4 hours of sleep, because Tzadikim stay up most of the night studying Torah?
The Torah is teaching the message that the minimum is enough, even when receiving more would be helpful. The Torah doesn’t want to discuss privileges as if they’re the norm, since this would create a distorted value system.
If people would understand that their “baseline” is food, clothing, and shelter, wouldn’t they be happier knowing that they have achieved their minimum standard? Wouldn’t they be more appreciative when, through Hashem’s kindness, they receive a wide range of foods to eat?
I believe that it would be a worthwhile, personal, exercise, for people to decide what they consider their baseline. What they deserve, and what they don’t deserve, but will make them happier. Placing thought into this exercise will make them appreciate that most people’s baselines are distorted, and the cause of significant unhappiness. This could be the first step towards being happier and appreciative of Hashem.
The Posuk says, (10/18) V’oheiv Ger, Loseis Lo Lechem V’simlo. You should love the convert, and give him food and clothing. Food, and clothing, seems to be an exceedingly minimal amount of support. Rashi explains: Dovor Choshuv Shekol Atzmo Shel Yakov Ovinu Al Ze Hispalel, “V’nosan Li Lechem Le’echol U’beged Lilbosh”. Yaakov davened for bread and clothing. What is being given to the convert is something significant, the same things for which Yaakov asked.
I think it’s fair to ask how one can consider that food and clothing, the most basic of needs, are enough, just because Yakov, a Tzadik, was satisfied with them. Would it be fair to say that the average person should be satisfied with 4 hours of sleep, because Tzadikim stay up most of the night studying Torah?
The Torah is teaching the message that the minimum is enough, even when receiving more would be helpful. The Torah doesn’t want to discuss privileges as if they’re the norm, since this would create a distorted value system.
If people would understand that their “baseline” is food, clothing, and shelter, wouldn’t they be happier knowing that they have achieved their minimum standard? Wouldn’t they be more appreciative when, through Hashem’s kindness, they receive a wide range of foods to eat?
I believe that it would be a worthwhile, personal, exercise, for people to decide what they consider their baseline. What they deserve, and what they don’t deserve, but will make them happier. Placing thought into this exercise will make them appreciate that most people’s baselines are distorted, and the cause of significant unhappiness. This could be the first step towards being happier and appreciative of Hashem.
The author can be contacted at shmuelgluck@areivim.com
In this Parsha, Hashem tells Klal Yisroel to be sensitive to Geirim (converts). Rashi explains the reason as: Mum She’boch, Al Tomar Lechavercho. People should never mistreat others for faults, or circumstances, that they themselves experienced. Since Klal Yisroel were Geirim in Mitzraim, they are expected to have empathy for others who are experiencing the same challenges.
In truth, there is a big difference between what we experienced in Mitzraim and what a Ger may experience. Nevertheless, the Torah tells us that there is enough of a comparison. This is how to understand it.
People can choose to look at an experience from the perspective of a very small window. This will allow them to believe that what is taking place now is different from other events that have taken place in the past. Here is an example:
A husband once complained to me that he was the only one to bring soda to the Shabbos table. Although that was true, he didn’t bring any other drinks, or help in any other way, to prepare for Shabbos. He couldn’t say, “I am the only one who sets the table”, or “the only one who helps for Shabbos. He couldn’t even say, “I am the only who brought the drinks to the table”. The only way he was able to legitimize his complaint, was by looking through the smallest of possible windows, by focusing on the soda that he brought to the table.
Can we feel that we have “shared’ experiences with a Ger? It depends on whether we want to look at this from a small window (Geirim were never in Mitzraim like the Am Yisroel), or a broader window. The broader window would allow people to see how difficult it is to feel like you don’t belong, or how difficult it is to begin living in a new community. Enough similarities exist to demand that we have empathy for them. Every person is responsible to look at the suffering of others, and connect with that suffering by comparing it, through a broad window, to their own personal experiences.
I often speak to couples in which each one believes that their spouse is insensitive to them, for doing things that they would never do to their spouse. I try to explain to them that while this may be true when they look through a narrow window, they aren’t entirely correct. While it may be true that the wife never leaves her Seforim around, and that the husband never puts her things where she can’t find them, they are looking at the daily household events through a very small window.
They are both insensitive to what is important to the other, and are treating each other in exactly the same way. They both can’t “see” what the other person “feels”. They both need to change, and because we have shared the same experiences as Geirim we’re expected to understand, and therefore, treat them with sensitivity.
In truth, there is a big difference between what we experienced in Mitzraim and what a Ger may experience. Nevertheless, the Torah tells us that there is enough of a comparison. This is how to understand it.
People can choose to look at an experience from the perspective of a very small window. This will allow them to believe that what is taking place now is different from other events that have taken place in the past. Here is an example:
A husband once complained to me that he was the only one to bring soda to the Shabbos table. Although that was true, he didn’t bring any other drinks, or help in any other way, to prepare for Shabbos. He couldn’t say, “I am the only one who sets the table”, or “the only one who helps for Shabbos. He couldn’t even say, “I am the only who brought the drinks to the table”. The only way he was able to legitimize his complaint, was by looking through the smallest of possible windows, by focusing on the soda that he brought to the table.
Can we feel that we have “shared’ experiences with a Ger? It depends on whether we want to look at this from a small window (Geirim were never in Mitzraim like the Am Yisroel), or a broader window. The broader window would allow people to see how difficult it is to feel like you don’t belong, or how difficult it is to begin living in a new community. Enough similarities exist to demand that we have empathy for them. Every person is responsible to look at the suffering of others, and connect with that suffering by comparing it, through a broad window, to their own personal experiences.
I often speak to couples in which each one believes that their spouse is insensitive to them, for doing things that they would never do to their spouse. I try to explain to them that while this may be true when they look through a narrow window, they aren’t entirely correct. While it may be true that the wife never leaves her Seforim around, and that the husband never puts her things where she can’t find them, they are looking at the daily household events through a very small window.
They are both insensitive to what is important to the other, and are treating each other in exactly the same way. They both can’t “see” what the other person “feels”. They both need to change, and because we have shared the same experiences as Geirim we’re expected to understand, and therefore, treat them with sensitivity.
The author can be contacted at shmuelgluck@areivim.com
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